Call Me Cannabis Kinsey c/o LoveAndMarijuana.com
I love marijuana. I love sex. The two combined? Way better than by themselves, when stirred properly.
My love affair with marijuana began when I tried edibles. While most edibles knock me out, my husband, a life-long cannabis connoisseur, convinced me to eat less and try to stay awake. Let’s just say sex on edibles not only increases the intensity and length of orgasms, but heightens every aspect of the sexual experience, amplifying the pleasure from a single brush of a hand on your skin to the emotional bond between your partner and even adding a spiritual element. Sex on edibles have helped me “see God” to put it mildly.
There are some drawbacks to edibles as a sexual enhancement product. It can take one to two hours for the effects to kick in depending on what medications you’re on, the food in your stomach, age, gender, part of the menstrual cycle you’re in and more random variable we have yet to discover. The effects may kick in with your partner much faster than you, making you out of sync with the “let’s get it on” phase. Your sensitivity to the same dose can be different each day, meaning something that got you “high” one day doesn’t do it the next, or could make you so inebriated this time, you’re too dysfunctional to do really anything than cuddle or sleep. Variability in dose effects within subjects and between subjects is just too big for a consistent and reliable experience.
Smoking marijuana revs my engine up, but then leaves me with a wicked case of dry mouth and a bout of dizziness. While that renders me to pretty useless in the foreplay department, I’m still more functional than after three shots of tequila, loosened up, and guaranteed not to throw up on my partner. And thankfully marijuana has never seemed to cause a problem with any partner in the male performance category, whereas alcohol has led to some embarrassing and even hilarious situations. Unfortunately, smoking marijuana has never led to the mind blowing orgasms and sense of connecting with my partner at a much deeper level that edibles has. It leads to having sex while laughing the entire time or tolerating some other experiences that would have been boner killers normally. Smoking a joint just doesn’t lead to soul mate sex.
A happy medium would be to get the effects of edibles on my lady parts in a fast and reliable way that guaranteed mind blowing orgasms. Cannabis can be absorbed through the skin, as well as mucous membranes like your vagina. While I’ve heard rumors of people putting topical cannabis creams or tinctures “down there,” it just never seemed safe to me. There’s a ton of chemicals, pesticides and other unsafe stuff from cannabis than might be in a cream and absorbed straight into your bloodstream. Not to mention the fact that if your partner wants to go down on your lady parts, they might be eating something that could be toxic.
That’s where FORIA comes in. Made all natural, gluten-free, vegan and based in coconut oil, it’s the first cannabis lube promised to be safe to eat and to put on my lady parts. Suffering from Celiac disease and living gluten-free this was huge plus for me. I’m especially need of a good lube since I took Lupron, a drug that puts you into early menopause as a treatment for severe endometriosis. Let’s just say menopause is not fun and neither is a vagina that feels like the Sahara desert.
I expected FORIA to come in some cheesy packaging with pot leafs reminiscent of a lot of other marijuana products on the market. Nope. The bronze glass bottle with a spray nozzle and cap doesn’t look like a cannabis product or like a typical sex lubricant you buy at an adult store. It looks more like some anti-aging fancy face serum. So less embarrassing than when the TSA rummages through your luggage at the airport and finds a big bottle of lube that they’ve uncapped and leaked all over your clothes. Plus FORIA doesn’t smell like weed so there’s no chance of getting busted anywhere with it.
The easy to use directions for FORIA were a plus. Much like a boner pill (Viagra or Cialis), you’re supposed to use FORIA before sex. It appears 30 minutes prior to sex is a magic wait time. Like an edible, it takes time for marijuana to be absorbed into your body before it starts working. 3 sprays and 15 minutes in, I started to feel a warm tingle. 30 minutes later I was feeling like a frisky bunny that needed to go. Sadly, my hubby was not as excited as I was at 9 am, so it was time to go find my trusty Rabbit vibrator. Let’s just say every vibration was like a symphony resonating through my body. By the time my orgasm peaked, it was stronger than ever and seemed to last for about 3 minutes (getting calmer and calmer after the first minute).
The story doesn’t end here. I was still revved up and ready to go all day. After begging my hubby he finally relented and let me take advantage of him. He noticed how amazing wet I was (something I haven’t been since entering chemical menopause via my Lupron shot) and much more sexually aggressive than normal. He liked the change of pace! One thing I noticed was that my G-spot seemed to be way bigger and easier to hit than normal using FORIA, leading to mind-blowing awesomeness that led me to basically pass out from pleasure with an hour nap.
Interestingly, I didn’t feel “high” from FORIA; the effects seem to be localized to my lady parts. Todd didn’t seem to get high from it either, suggesting this is likely a product you could use and go about your day without worrying about intoxication. The good part was that I could work and function immediately after using FORIA, the bad part was that unlike edibles, the emotional and spiritual enhancement was lacking because the lack of the “brain high.” Tradeoffs.
I’ll leave edibles to the weekend or special occasions when I have a couple hours to block off. I’ll use FORIA more frequently when I need an extra kick to my sex drive to boost past though days when I’m just too tired, have a headache or backache or have some other ridiculous excuse keeping me from having a good time. Great sex is the glue that keeps marriages together. Todd & I made a sex once a day pact to ensure we won’t be another divorce statistic. FORIA is definitely going to help me keep my end of the bargain.
The neuroscientist in me wants to repeat my FORIA experiment under all variables possible. Call me Cannabis Kinsey. My biggest challenge: not wearing my husband out since the only variable I can’t change is my partner. Ladies: make sure you clear your schedule when you use FORIA, because you’re going to want to be tied up for a while, over and over again.